I forget sometimes that the majority of my readership consists of people I don't see on a regular basis. So lately I've been getting a lot of emails making sure I'm okay, since I've never been such a big blog slacker before. I wanted to assure everyone that I am fine and things are going well.
This pregnancy has been so different than my pregnancy with Shaelyn, so it has really taken me off guard. I'm sure that a big part of the difference is that I was working during Shaelyn's pregnancy, and I didn't have a little one to keep track of. Working kept me distracted, and when I got home, I could focus on me. I went to bed at 7:30 most nights 'cause I could! Now I'm at home most days where I can lay around and think about how miserable I am, and I am exhausted from keeping up with one crazy, active toddler. With Shaelyn, I was decently sick the first trimester. I had a lot of friends that had it worse, but I was certainly worse off than a lot of others. But by week 13, I was great. With this one, I've been feeling SO SICK but haven't had to run to the bathroom to throw up as much as I did with Shaelyn. In fact, I think I've only been sick twice. All the food aversions were there, just like with Shaelyn, but SO MUCH STRONGER this time. For about 8 weeks, there was hardly anything I could even think about eating. My number one food: pancakes. I think I had them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for about a week. Here's me on one of my pathetic days - no makeup, pjs all day, no shower, eating pancakes. Am I brave to put this on the blog or what?!?
After I hit 13 weeks, I figured I'd be feeling better. So I was surprised when I still felt just as sick as I had been. I tried to describe my symptoms to Michael, and he said it sounded like I was suffering from acid-reflux, not nausea. Finally, I understood why I was feeling so differently and still feeling so lousy!!! I've never had acid-reflux, heartburn, any of those things, so I had no idea how to correctly identify the symptoms. I talked to the doctor about it and he recommended some medication, and I was hoping for immediate relief. Instead, things have been mildly better. It's worse at night, but otherwise I'm feeling better enough, so the acid-reflux is easier to deal with. Plus, knowing what's actually going on with my body makes it easier, too. I have a small amount of hope that it will get better, but I'm afraid it won't, since acid-reflux is actually supposed to get worse the further along you get in your pregnancy. I honestly think I'd rather have the first-trimester nausea over this... but that's easy to say now.
Shaelyn is doing great! She is such a big helper and has turned into a "big girl" in what feels like a matter of weeks. She communicates much better, has become more obedient, and otherwise is a joy to be with. I had a very hard time with her a few months back (hence the reason for all the "I'm at my rope's end" comments I made on the blog), but things have vastly improved. I think a lot of that comes down to her ability to tell me what she wants better than she was able to before. Her need for independence and her frustration at not being able to express herself left me (and probably her) wanting to pull my hair out!! I've definitely had moments in my short tenure as a mother where I've second-guessed my parenting decisions, but during that "awful phase" as I am loving referring to it, I doubted everything - every decision I was making with her. They all just seemed to go wrong, to produce the exact opposite effect of what I was going for, and I felt like a complete failure. To top it all off, I had just found out that I was pregnant with #2, something I was really looking forward to, and here I was thinking, "I can't be a mother of two kids. I'm already failing with one!." I was at an all-time low point. But somehow or another we pulled out of it and are feeling successful - for now at least. I know later I'll have these same feelings of helplessness (especially when the kids are teenagers), and I am not looking forward to that. Not knowing what to do or trusting my own decisions has been the hardest thing I've dealt with as a new mom. Hopefully the next time it happens, I'll have a little more faith that I'll be able to get through that "awful phase" too.
I'm combining July and August's Baby Talk together, so it will be published next week. In the meantime, here's a recent picture of the big girl. She is so beautiful, I just can't get enough of her:
Will update you soon with Breaking Dawn release party pics, So You Know You Can't Dance party videos, and other hilarity that has ensued over the last few weeks.
Is it just me, or is anyone else glad the Olympics are finally over? I loved every second of every competition, and for the last two weeks I have done nothing but sit in front of the t.v. until 1:00 in the morning! I am so excited to get up off the couch and go to bed at a decent hour! Good thing they only come on every 2 years!!!!!
