When I was in college I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to be a Constitutional lawyer. I wanted to work for some think-tank in D.C. and argue cases before the Supreme Court and ultimately be a Justice one day. (I even have a picture of me standing in front of the golden doors of the Supreme Court, Elle Woods style...) I wanted to define laws and change policy, champion righteous causes and defend freedom. I wanted to change the world.
I took the LSATs. I applied to schools. I got accepted and paid a non-refundable fee to a few to hold my seat while my husband and I waited out his acceptance to MBA programs. And then everything changed. He was accepted to Wake Forest, a last-minute application for him, where I did not have a law school acceptance waiting for me. And so we moved to North Carolina. And I got a job - a job I hated in a field I felt was perhaps hurting the world, not helping it. And I was jealous. Jealous that my husband was off "bettering" himself, expanding his horizons, making himself more useful to the business community and ultimately the world, when I was stuck in a career not of my choosing, not understanding why we had been inspired to choose this course, this course that would delay law school for me and my hopes of changing the world.
But I was changing, becoming, "bettering". And slowly I came to accept, then embrace, the idea of motherhood. My rough exterior began sloughing off. I became less judgmental, less intolerant, less angry. I became more compassionate, and understanding, and forgiving. And I knew how I wanted to change the world.
I voted on Tuesday. In the past I would have been much more outspoken on the issues at hand, and intolerant of those who did not see things my way. But I have friends on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me, friends I admire and respect, and I have come to appreciate our differences and celebrate our similarities, rather than write off their views as perhaps "nonsensical and idiotic".
I do have certain core beliefs that influence how I vote, beliefs that are grounded in my faith, on issues such as abortion, the definition of family, and same-gender attraction. And no, the candidate that I felt best embodied my beliefs in these issues did not win the presidential race. And in the past, I would be looking at that loss as catastrophic. But I know better now. I will pray for our new leader, and hope that he will be inspired as to how to best lead this country, and that he will champion righteous causes and defend freedom.
Because no matter who's elected or what the outcome, I still have the opportunity to change the world, one little girl at a time.
