Wednesday, July 1st
I have a new nephew!! My sister gave birth to her new little boy, Trevor Benjamin, at 7:24 PM (Utah Time). He weighed 6 pounds, 12 ounces - my sister had him 2 weeks early. So I guess both of us just had second babies that really needed to get here in a hurry and couldn't wait 'til their due dates. I'm so excited to go out and meet him!!!!
We also went to the pool today and I dunked Shaelyn's head under the water. She did NOT like this, and put me in Mommy time-out. "Go sit on the stairs, Mommy!" Every time I got off the stairs to come swim with her again (we were with a Mommy and Me playgroup), she would tell me to go back to the stairs. I lost all trust. (But we were back on good terms before we left. I was really worried there for a while!)
Thursday, July 2nd
Potty training update: Shaelyn peed in the potty for the first time in her life!!!! It was a BIG deal. And she was SO EXCITED!! After 5 accidents yesterday and one this morning, I was ready to end this ride. But she's desperate to be potty trained. She takes off her diapers. She goes and gets her big girl panties. She tells me "I pee in the potty, Mommy," even before she could. So I knew if I could just get her to go once, it would be a done deal. I finally stripped her down, put her training potty in front of Cinderella, loaded her up with grape juice, and told her if she peed in the potty we could go to the zoo (something she's been asking to do for a while now). I've tried the "sit on the potty for hours in front of the tv" technique before, but if you know my daughter, you know she won't sit still long enough for that to work. But today she was motivated. When she finally did, she came running over to me and said "I did it Mommy! I go to the zoo!" She was so excited she did it again 10 minutes later. She ended up going 5 times in the potty today - twice because she said she needed to and headed over to it! This was just the start - I'm not counting any chickens yet. But I guess you know where we'll be tomorrow. THE ZOO!!
Friday, July 3rd
We spent the whole day at the zoo - or almost anyway. We got there at 10:30 and left at 4:00. We were all so exhausted, everyone fell asleep in the car on the way home. Well, not Michael. But he said he wanted to. After we got home and rested for about a 1/2 hour, we went swimming and wore ourselves out even more. Rachelle was asleep by 7:45, and Shaelyn was asleep by 8:30. What did Mom and Dad do with all that extra time in the evening? Go to bed ourselves!! We were both asleep by 9:15!
Saturday, July 4th
Happy 4th! This morning I taught Shaelyn how to sign "Happy 4th of July," "Happy Birthday America," and "American Flag." We talked about wearing red, white, and blue, and picked out a cute denim dress to wear that had r,w, & b stars on it. I put red and white ribbons in her hair. And then told her we were going to an "outside party" - the downtown 4th festival. She had a BLAST. Rachelle slept the whole time in the Bjorn. Shaelyn got to jump in a bouncy castle 3 times, go down the giant inflatable slide, eat pizza and kettle corn, and walk around holding Mommy and Daddy's hand. Then we went to a cook-out at our friend's house, and lit sparklers. Shaelyn was a little hesitant, but loved running around yelling "Happy Birthday America" while we waved them around.
Sunday, July 5th
Today was one of those days. And they always seem to be Sundays for some reason. It was a good day at church - Michael didn't even have to go to his morning meetings, so we all got to go together. I left feeling spiritually fed and uplifted. Then everything seemed to fall apart. The girls wouldn't sleep. They were whiney. I was hungry. I snapped at Michael. I lost my patience with the girls. And I took a nap. The day got a little better after that. But I hate how these days unravel. Especially when it's the Sabbath. It really ruins the spirit of the day. Satan really knows how to get me riled up on a day of rest.
Monday, July 6th
Today was a "stay home for potty training purposes" day. It was a success! Shaelyn didn't have an accident all day. And even went and sat on the potty on her own when it was time to pee. Great! Downside - her reward is M&M's. Originally Michael and I agreed upon 5 M&M's as her reward. But to encourage her to get started on this potty training ride, we decided to give her a handful at first. Big mistake. Today she ate nothing but her reward M&M's (and I think she ate some cheese). By the end of the night, she was HYPER and all over the place. It was one of those "go to bed crying and everybody's angry" nights. Too bad, because today was such a successful day. Tomorrow we are going to try and wear clothes (today was a naked day) and see how she does when she has to pull shorts on and off to pee. And give less M&M's when she does.
Tuesday, July 7th
This afternoon I officially stopped potty training. For the next little while at least. We have lots of things coming up in the near future - a trip across the country for an extended period of time, a trip to the beach, and the start of preschool for Shaelyn - and I'm not excited to add any additional stress to these situations by adding a potty-training toddler to the mix. Plus Shaelyn just does not do well with transitions, and I don't want to add to her stress. Sadly, she's already reverted back to a lot of the behavior that sent me into PPD after giving birth to Rachelle, and I can slowly feel myself descending into the darkness again. To be honest, this time I'm a little angry. I'm not sure at who or what. God? Fate? The universe? Myself? But I had 2 months - just 2 months - of a happy, well-adjusted, independent little girl. Now I'm back to hour-long emotional tantrums, scream-filled bedtime routines, destructive behavior, and irrational rantings. Which means I'm also back to no confidence in my parenting skills, doubting every decision that I make, and feeling unworthy of even being a mom to the two children I have, much less any I might want in the future. Kinda dark and depressing for a daily journal entry, but that's where I am right now.
Wednesday, July 8th
Today was a much better day. After screaming until 11:00 last night (with me downstairs in tears), Shaelyn slept in until 9:00 this morning, took a 3 hour nap, and was asleep by 9:30 tonight without a fight. We did have a few incidents today and more screaming/fit pitching than I would like, but overall she was back to her happy, fun self. We cuddled in bed this morning, went to our friend's pool, played with the hose in the backyard when we got home (while Rachelle was napping), ate pizza for dinner, and played in the blue room as a family. She watched all of a 1/2 hour of tv today (yay!) and was back to being energetic and cheerful. I'm so glad I made the decision to stop the potty training.
Last night while I was in the midst of my breakdown and pleading with the Lord to get me (and Shaelyn) through this, I felt inspired to offer a prayer of gratitude. Gratitude?! For what?! But as I started the list, I realized how much I have been blessed and how much the Lord does love me. And the thing I was most grateful for last night? My beautiful baby Rachelle - who has brought me so much peace and who has been the kind of baby that has allowed me to deal with Shaelyn's high-maintenance and be the mom she needs me to be.
Thursday, July 9th
Ok, we're doing much better. Michael got home tonight (although after the girls went to bed) and just having him here calms me down. Today while buckling the girls in the car, I said to Rachelle, "I have the sweetest baby in the world. You are such a sweet baby!" and then to Shaelyn, "I have the sweetest big girl in the whole world. You are such a sweet big girl!" And then Shaelyn surprised me by saying, "I have a sweet Mommy!" WOW - I was practically in tears as I buckled my own seat belt and tried to compose myself.
Tonight I finally got Rachelle to laugh - HARD! I had her rolling in the aisles! I had to put on a pretty big show to get the laughs, though. I have tough 2-year-old competition. No matter what Shaelyn's doing, it's always funnier to Rachelle than what I'm doing.
Friday, July 10th
FINALLY got to watch SYTYCD now that Michael is home. I wait until he's in town so we can watch it together - and seeing as it's only my FAVORITE SHOW on tv, isn't that nice of me?! And I must say, that Mia Michael's addiction routine had me in tears. Sobbing. I watched it several times and continued to get emotional each time I saw it. If you have ever dealt with an addiction (any kind, not just drugs or alcohol) or have seen a loved one go through it, you could get the power of the dance. The choreography. The music. The costuming and makeup. All of it was so powerful. I appreciated watching an artform take on that kind of seriousness. I feel like I should show it in my Sunday school class as an object lesson - here's how Satan wants to control you...
Sunday, July 12th
I was really happy with my Sunday school lesson today. Some weeks I feel the lesson goes well, I'm able to teach most of what's on my outline, I feel the Spirit strongly in class, and I get good, engaging, and on-topic discussion. Other weeks not so much. But this week was a good one for me. I need good lessons like today to keep me motivated to work hard for next week's lesson. When I have a big bomb, preparing for that next week is that much harder.
Shaelyn is definitely in a "mommy-mode" of late. Tonight while leaving her room, I covered her face in kisses. Then Daddy went to kiss her. "No Daddy!" "Fine," says Daddy. Then comes the little voice, "Mommy, I need more kisses!" I said "HA!" out loud, and Shaelyn said "HA Daddy!" I covered her face in kisses once more, laughing hysterically the whole time. Shaelyn proudly said, "I make ew waff!" That's good stuff!
Tuesday, July 14th
Today Rachelle had a first: the first time she ever got to feel Maggie's fur. The girls' nap schedules are off a little now - which stinks for me getting a good nap in the afternoon, but is great to allow me some one-on-one time with each girl. While Shaelyn was sleeping, Rachelle and I played and cuddled in my room. Maggie was curled up and snoozing on my bed. Rachelle had noticed her and was cooing and reaching out for her. I put Rachelle on her tummy right next to Maggie's back, and her little hands shot out, anxious to feel. She giggled and cooed while she pulled, grabbed, rubbed, kneaded, and otherwise manipulated Maggie's fur. Maggie was patient and let her play for a good 3-4 minutes. Not wanting to press our luck, I scooped up Rachelle before any claws or sharp teeth could come her way, then spent the next 3-4 minutes removing all the fur from her sticky, curled up fingers.
Wednesday, July 15th
UGH!! I can NOT believe it! Not only am I not seeing Harry Potter tonight, but I also didn't push the right button sequence on the VCR to tape SYTYCD. So I'm sans my favs tonight. How antiquated are we with our VCR? And how annoying is it that you have to push "program" and then "timer?" If I'm programming something, then I want it taped. I shouldn't have to go through the extra step of pushing timer, too! It's not something a mom home alone while her husband is at his church meetings and your baby's crying because she's ready for bed and your toddler's up in the bath by herself can really remember to do!! Last time I was at Sam's Club, I went looking for new VCR tapes, since ours have been taped over and over and over again. I couldn't find them, and asked a nearby worker where they might be. He looked at me like he felt sorry for me and said that they stopped selling those. We just happened to be standing in the 52-inch flat screen aisle right next to the blu-ray aisle. Oh, that's why they don't sell those anymore...
Thursday, July 16th
My family Skypes. It's a great way to keep in touch over long distances and let the grandparents see the grandkids between visits. Plus Shaelyn LOVES it - because she 's such a narcissist. She doesn't care who she's talking to, as long as she gets to watch herself on camera. Every day she asks me, "Skype Grammy?" "Skype Chan Chan?" "Skype Grandma?" Today we Skyped Chan Chan. Which is hilarious because neither my sister or I ever get a word in. It's just Trevor (her new baby) nursing, David (her oldest) running around, Rachelle crying (we always end up Skyping Shannon at the "witching hour" due to time zone differences), and Shaelyn putting on a show at the top of her lungs. I think we said two things to each other. Oh well. It's great to let the kids see one another. Plus Shaelyn and David are old enough now that they actually try to interact. When he leaves the screen, Shaelyn will call out "Baby Dafid! Wer ah you?" and he'll come running back, laughing, with a huge grin on his face. I can't wait for these two to get together - just 2 more weeks!!
Friday, July 19th
Today Michael and I saw Harry Potter. Enough said. Look for my review post coming soon.
Saturday, July 18th
I love Saturdays when Michael's in town. I love having another adult in the house all day. I love watching the girls interact and get some good face-time with Daddy. Today I helped host a diaper shower for a friend about to have her second baby. We had breakfast and gabbed with our girlfriends. It was at another house, so I got to leave the girls home with Michael all morning. I spent my morning talking about potty training, birthing stories, parenting multiple children, what brand of diapers are best, and Harry Potter. 4 years ago I would have thought that was the worst way I could possible spend my time, and would have slapped myself for even thinking of participating in such an event. But I actually had fun. And enjoyed talking about those topics. I used to be so afraid of losing my identity becoming a mom. That I would become "Michael's wife" and "those kids' mother." And that's true now, to a certain extent. But I love this new identity. And not have a "job title" or nice clothes or even make-up on half the time doesn't bother me anymore. What does that say about me?
Sunday, July 19th
Today we had our Bishop, who also happens to be a good friend of ours with a wife out of town, over for dinner. We had a great time cracking jokes and eating good food. And I must say, I was very proud of myself for having dinner made and the table set before he arrived. That NEVER happens! Anyway, our Bishop is very tall and has always been someone Shaelyn has been a little scared of. We were afraid she would whine and/or hide all night tonight while he was here. She did for the first 5 minutes, but by the end of his stay, was talking to him and even showing him her Sally (from Cars) band-aid on her leg. She shook his hand when he left. It was a great night, and we feel so blessed to be in this ward and have him as our Bishop.
Wednesday, July 22nd
Today was full of scary moments. Shaelyn fell in the pool (which turned into to a blog post) and I happened upon a big, scary, black spider in our house. Our house has become the popular hangout for spiders as of late, which is horrible because I am deathly afraid of them. This one was very stealthy and JUMPY and of course Michael was not home. I tried to put a cup over him several times, but he always averted my aim and would dart somewhere else. I screamed 3 times, scaring both the girls and myself (and probably the spider). I finally caught him under the Bumbo seat, where he remained until Michael came home from work and killed it. Although it did put up a good fight and averted Michael as well. Shudder!
Thursday, July 23rd
Rachelle has learned a new skill - grabbing whatever is within a strained reach of her. It has yielded some funny interactions between her and her big sister. In the morning when Shaelyn comes in to give Rachelle a kiss, Rachelle pulls the paci out of Shaelyn's mouth. "No Chelle! My paci!" When they play in the blue room together, Rachelle somehow rolls and scoots her way over to Shaelyn and starts grabbing at whatever she's holding. "No Chelle! My toys! Your toys over there!" Today while Shaelyn was talking on the phone with her Grammy, Rachelle kept grabbing for the phone. "No Chelle! I talk to Grammy!" Today Rachelle really proved the power of her grabbing skills while I thought she was taking a nap. Suddenly I hear her giggling and shrieking. I went up to check on her, and her entire crib mobile was in pieces all around her. Thank goodness it made her laugh instead of scream! I guess she's finally too old for it. Sad! She's getting too big. And I really liked that mobile too. I wanted all my kids to lay under it, mesmerized by its hypnotic swirls and colorful animals. Shaelyn was sad too. "Oh no! Oh no! Chelle, you broke the cowboys!"
Friday, July 24th
Tonight we had a family campout. We grilled hamburgers outside, roasted marshmallows over the grill, played outside games, and got eaten up by mosquitoes. Then we came inside for some tent sleeping. Rachelle slept in her crib, and we set up the "family tent" in the blue room. We turned out all the lights and read books by flashlight. Shaelyn had a blast. And then the three of us slept in the tent together on the floor. The whole family was asleep by 10:30. Which was a good thing, because sleeping on the hard floor really takes it out of you.
Saturday, July 25th
While driving home from the pool, Michael and I saw a legitimate-looking construction sign next to some construction trucks that said "Fat Men Working." It wasn't graffitied on or anything. It actually said that. Michael and I laughed the whole way home.
Monday, July 27th
Nothing really exciting to report. We went on a walk. We played at the playground. We rode our tricycles. We made a mess of the house. We whined and cried before and after our naps. (Mommy included!) It was a Monday.
Tuesday, July 28th
Michael brought home free Moe's tonight for dinner. And not just a left over taco from a meeting. I'm talking the works. A huge container full of meat, beans, rice, and cheese. And tons of tortillas. It's enough to feed us until we go out of town. What would they do if Michael wasn't there to claim all this leftover food? I'd hate to think that they would throw it out. There are so many hungry people in the world, it seems such a waste. I'm so glad Michael's not above asking for the leftovers. Not only is it free food for our family, but it's a great way for me to get to "go out to eat" without having to pay for it. And I didn't have to cook dinner!
Wednesday, July 29th
I spent the WHOLE DAY today getting ready to go out of town. I toted the girls from store to store. They were such troopers. I was so proud of Shaelyn - we waited at the Verizon store for over an hour - which was definitely long enough for her to get VERY bored and tear the place down. But she stayed right by me and didn't whine too much. She's turning into a pretty good listener.
On another note, I got a cell phone today. Just pay-as-you-go, but still. I haven't had one in a year, so it's weird to have one again. To be connected to the world when I'm out of the house. To have to remember where it is and keep it charged and take it with me when I go places. What a pain! But then again, it is scary to be out and about with two kiddos and no phone. So just for the peace of mind I guess it's worth it.
Friday, July 31st
Shaelyn LOVED traveling today. I thought Rachelle would be my easy child and Shaelyn would be the difficult one. Instead, the tables were turned. Shaelyn is old enough now to think everything is an adventure. "I go on a plane! I go on a train! (the airport tram) I go on the stairs! (the escalator) Blue Car! I ride in the blue car! (our rental car) I on VACATION! She is so adorable. I'm so glad she loved traveling. Rachelle on the other hand screamed and fussed almost the entire 4 hour flight. Fun stuff!!
