I was worried that having a second child would ruin our relationship. That we would stop being "little best friends." And I guess in some ways, that is true. We're not each other's everything anymore. I'm more spread out, and so is she. And Rachelle has really taken up a "best friend" post in both our hearts.
But in other ways, we've grown closer as she's gotten older. As she's been more able to share the feelings and thoughts and dreams she has. As she's come to get to know me better as well. And lately, we've been bonding over Christian. How I'm feeling, how she can help, what things she going to do for Christian once he comes . . . It's all really very sweet.
Tonight was no exception. After tucking Rachelle into bed, we snuggled up on the green chair for some story reading that never happened. Instead, we talked. We talked about her ballet class today, and how much fun it was that Mommy got to stay and watch. About how special she felt that just Mommy came to class - no Rachelle. About how much she likes spending time with me. And about Christian. And Pinky.
Christian was moving and kicking like crazy during our little talk, so she got to both feel and see him move. This inspired a whole round of Christian/Pinky discussion. Pinky was moving in her tummy, too. Pinky is close to being born, too. She'll be naked when she's born, just like Christian. And she's going to be born at the hospital.
We talked about where Pinky is going to sleep when she comes home (in the cradle in Shaelyn's room). We talked about what Pinky is going to eat when she's born (milk, because she won't have any teeth). We talked about how Shaelyn is a Mommy now, and no longer likes the color pink, but now the color green (because green becomes your favorite color when you are a Mommy). We talked about how Shaelyn is going to take care of Pinky (by rocking her and singing to her). And we talked about whether or not Shaelyn is going to change Pinky's diapers (she is not, that is my job).
(She also sweetly told me that she wants to read one of her books, "Big Egg," to baby Christian once he is born. She said she would bring it to the hospital to read to him when she meets him.)
This all got me thinking about the "logistics" of Pinky. Pinky is very real to Shaelyn. She gets upset if I do something for Christian that I don't do for Pinky, like make a Valentine's mailbox or buy clothes. And she very much thinks that she will have a baby girl to bring home from the hospital when I bring home my baby boy.
So now I'm wondering, do I get her a new little baby doll that's waiting for her at the hospital to take home and care for, or would that insult her because the baby doll would not be "real" and Pinky is real in her head? Would she be more satisfied with a pretend Pinky, or disappointed that she doesn't have something tangible that she can hold? I'm leaning more toward the baby doll at this point - one she can "nurse" and "burp" and "change" and even buckle into a car seat to take home from the hospital.
Hopefully I will figure this out over the next few weeks as we have our nightly cuddles and chats. I really look forward to them. And I'm jealous that her "baby bump" has somehow not managed to stop her from wearing her tights and leotard and dancing around, almost like she doesn't have a baby in there at all.
